I came across this blog I wrote after Easter 2013 for a class presentation:
Easter season was long this year. My first ever without being home with my family, and as it turned out, the first year I never attended a Sunday celebration service (I was working in children’s ministry). It was such a bizarre time; that refreshment, that recharge and revamp I was used to getting around that time of year was absent. I was weary, homesick and coming close to running empty. I lost sight of the true meaning of Easter and wrapped myself up in working with the kids, egg hunts, and candy baskets.
Fast forward to two weeks later, and my pastor announces that He will be continuing his series on the four squares of Foursquare, this week’s being healing. I was less than excited. Many of you have heard my testimony, but for those of you who have not, let me give you a brief background. In the past year and a half, 4 people in my life have passed away. 1 of the 4 was a former student of mine, and he died in a fatal car accident on the spot. It took a lot for me to get a grasp on that situation, but every step of the way, I was thanking the Lord for keeping his brother and father safe. However, the other 3 have all died from cancer, the most recent being my grandfather. None of them experienced healing, so let’s be real, a sermon on Jesus as healer wasn’t anything to look forward to in my book.
I was feeling rather high and mighty in my “bible college knowledge” about the four squares. So I sat back and began to ponder what I would eat for lunch after it was over. I tuned back in so that I could fill in my already outlined notes, and my pastor said something that I have been wrestling with ever since.
“Because you know church, death is healing too.”
I remember immediately thinking, “what did he just say?”
Death is healing too.
How does healing come from death?
No more life.
Why is he comparing death with healing?
Who’s fixed with death? Certainly not the dead.
What changes with the absence of life?
My mind was running crazy with all of these questions and then all at once it hit me.
I change with the absence of life.
I am fixed with death.
Jesus’ death brought me healing.
Where would I be without his death?
His suffering, His action, His death is the vessel that heals me from everything I have ever done and everything I will ever do. It heals me daily.
He took care of me, and healed me, before I even knew that I needed.
Selflessly he laid it all down. He gave his life. He died, so that I could be healed from every wrong doing, every sin, every everything.
Because death is healing too.
All of the sudden it was Easter all over again for me, except this time I was really impacted by Jesus’ story. His death didn’t do anything for Him, but it gives me everything.
Some may say that’s basic Christian knowledge, I say that it should be basic daily conversation.
I want to wake up daily and remember that His death heals me. I get to wake up every day with a clean slate because His death healed me.
As for the three people in my life who weren’t healed, I am beginning to gain some ground in the process of grieving for them. Sure, Jesus didn’t physically heal them, but their testimonies, their stories live to tell their tales. Their deaths impact others. Their deaths impacted me, and through their death I am learning how to heal.
Because death is healing too.